Parenting 101

Tonight was the first night of our couples small group on parenting ala Dr. James Dobson. Such great stuff! We are fired up to get these girls back in line...not that they were ever necessarily out of line, but we were just getting lazy with our follow through on some things. The funny thing about the timing of this small group is that just in the past few days, I've had to say "Let me be the mommy"...to Lucy when I heard her repeating me ("No, Emma") and to Emma when I heard her trying to correct Lucy's behavior. They are trying to figure out their places in our family, it's very interesting.

Some of the key points tonight were:

• Clearly define their boundaries in advance. Dr Dobson wisely said, if you love your kids, lead them.
• Take Action to get Action (not anger to get action) You can't control your child with empty threats, always follow through.
• Kids want you to EARN the right to be in control (the ultimate paradox, they want you to be in control, but they will test you just for the sake of finding out if you're for real)
• Distinguish between willful defiance and childish irresponsibility and respond accordingly.
• Reassure and teach your child after confrontation, let love be your guide.

I know that I have not always been consistant and it's hard as the girls are growing and developing completely different personalities. I am often in awe at how much I love these two girls. I want them to have everything they want and to be happy...but even more than that I want them to be respectful to me & Sean and others, to develop character, to not be spoiled, snotty bratty girls and to one day know God personally. Dr Dobson said the 2 most important ingredients of parenting are love and control working together with balance. This is our goal.

We don't enjoy being disciplined. It always seems to cause more pain than joy. But afterwards, those who learn from that discipline have peace that comes from doing what is right - Hebrews 12:11